Life of Lael as of late

My randomness typed out by the famous Hannahisbananas-

"to bible study ne dhj oh i already know all this..right on kempsville pause left on orchard rd its 1526 orchard grove dr. ok thats it watcha doing hannie? killin the keyboard? im gonna make a list of all the people that have helped me car shopdkajkdhabut um puttin a number in my phone this is great were using up minutes yknow what is it hannah oh my word dontcha have homework to do or something?!? um yeah actually i do waith a minute546 ineed to finish my art portfolio im getting my wisdom teeth out on friday i need to go for a jog real quick think its dangerous to go by myself what am i supposed to do jace isnt here shes gone till wednesday um shes in richmond visiting her friend-or boyfriend actually 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 yeah i know huh oh boy lets- drop this i wanna crop your....cant crop it hannah"

One of the absolute best snacks as a child...

Peanuts, chocolate chips and raisins. 

Mix them together in a little cupcake holder (you know those little paper cupcake things that you put in the pan?) 

Then...

eat. 

OR if you are in a particularly hard time and the only thing left in the cupboard is a little bit of peanut butter and a bag of raisins...

dip the spoon in the peanut butter and carefully position a few raisins on top, just covering most of the peanut butter.

Then...

eat.  

A great treat for an adult to eat (or one that needs to remember childhood) is much the same. 

Follow the above instructions and imagine that you are totally reliant upon another person and have no income of your own. 

This-

A) Makes it taste so much better because you are truly appreciative of whatever food you've found

B) Saves you money 

I hope that I will be able to feed my children peanuts and chocolate chips but I hope they experience the raisins too. 

Hope he's someone who misses me

Who can't wait to see me 

When I talk, wants to know what I'm thinking 

It'll be both ways

And I know he hasn't come  

It doesn't make me sad, I'd rather wait 

Not settlin' baby!

Just dancin' on the dock at the bay 

watchin' the sunshine come my way 

I can hear a song, it's comin'

and feel the dance, soon

I'll take a step and won't touch the ground

Whadya' know?

Gee.

I know! Really! 

I am finally going to address the subject that everyone continues to focus on. Er...at least mention it. I don't think I will reach a conclusion tonight. 

They say I'm negative. Constantly. 

I don't think that I'm constantly negative. I refuse to believe everything other people say anymore. I used to become very bothered by other's comments. I will no longer live in that torment. 

However, I will agree that I'm often negative. 

I would like to throw a thought out there though. Or two.

I like to write sometimes. That sometimes is usually when I'm pondering something, bothered by something, or sad. 

If I'm sad my writing will seem negative because I'm expressing something that makes my heart sink. I think it's okay to talk about things that make a heart heavy. You know, after talking I don't feel so weighed down. Life can be sad, how can one ignore that? 

If I'm bothered by something then my writing probably ends up with an annoyed, angry or bitter bite. This, I think can turn into something that is not right for me to express because I most likely have no right to be angry or bitter...annoyed maybe. Sometimes though, and I would say often it is the case that this writing comes from expressing a hurt which then turns into bitterness or harsh feelings towards another. I think that the initial thought of hurt is okay to express but allowing it to go as far as anger and bitterness is when it's gone too far. 

If I'm pondering something then it probably comes out a little confusing to my reader. Sometimes when analyzing and mulling over a subject I hit many random thoughts and just throw them all down without much of an explanation and absolutely no desire to explain. I am sorry for your inconvenience but I must admit that this blog was never started with you in mind. I know that's horrible and I'm sorry, again. I think that I was a little lonely and just wanted a place to put my thoughts. Sometimes blogs are good for that and for a while it was a very good little lonesome blog. I somehow let the word out. 

And on the subject of lonesome, I don't believe it's such a bad thing. Lonesome can be sad, it can make a heart feel constricted but it's not altogether bad. Don't you think there's something special in a lonesome heart? I think it's a terribly sad feeling sometimes but it's beautiful too. I don't think I find much harm in expressing a lonesome thought. 

I think thoughts are rather beautiful. Stunning. Curious.   

So whadya' know. I open my computer in an attempt to bring some closure to the day and I end up writing. I'm sorry, sometimes I can't help but want to toss my thoughts to the wind and wonder who might find them. 

Scatter dear thoughts and let me get some sleep for once. 

I really need to grow up and be a little more responsible. 

I need to go to bed. At a decent hour. 

Wake up...in time to be on time. 

Ya know. Most things normal, responsible people do.  

OH M'GOODNESS.

I have GOT to get stuff done. 

I have like...3 weeks to do like...10 projects. 

And this post is lame. 

I just thought this empty little blog world would like to hear from me.  

Eeerrr....

I'm doing very well. Thanks for asking. 

It is now 11:17 p.m. and I have another crazy day ahead of me tomorrow. 

And I like it for the most part. 

And one more thing.

I'm in love.

With the weather. Mmmm...

I can't wait till this indecisive weather makes up it's mind and decides to become nice spring, beach weather!

Oh m'word. I gotta go. 

Mmmm.

Satisfied 

Peaceful

Anticipating

Hungry 

Beautiful

Content.

shallow

mood swings 

jumpy 

inconsistent 

disappointed 

careless 

saddened 

tiny 

helpless 

frail

Because sometimes I feel so old

so experienced 

ahead of my years 

out of that league in so many ways

and sometimes I feel so young 

so oblivious

a giddy little girl 

so below that level 

such an odd place 

but wait

do I see myself based on their assumptions? 

oh but Christ has made me so much more! 

I will look to the heavens

I will seek His face

and in discovering 

will find who I truly am 

I am His. 

how can I explain? 

who can describe? 

the trials, the love, an ocean

tossed around

engulfed in compassion  

drowning in grace 

a true perspective of where I am

As a side note...this is not sarcasm.**

Would just like to point out that I will leave this post with an extremely positive note....

once I've let it out. 

*releases heavy sigh* 

Man. I need a gym in my house. 

Sometimes I have to keep myself from wondering if I'm actually going to make it in this industry. 

I'm definitely keeping myself from thinking that.

See? *tosses thought* 

Thought gone. 

Now... 

I need to....go do something.  

Like finish a drawing.

Or eat some chips!!! 

Yes! AWESOME! That's exactly what I want to do after skipping lunch by accident and over-eating when I get home and skipping the gym is EAT SOME CHIPS!!!!!!!!!! (**except for this thought here)

YESSSS!!!!!!!!!! 

*jumps around...hollers...flails arms like Sarah* 

I am off to do that very thing. 

OR find those peanut m&m's!!!!

There actually were some left over after the candy war late that night. 

GEE!!! I love life!!!!!!!

I love you! 

always will dontcha' know 

chiseled 

sparkling

harsh facade 

blazing fire in the night 

shooting 

dancing 

glimmer light 

silent footsteps blind sense 

deafening  

rythmic 

unpredictable 

if my love unreturned

meaningless 

impelling  

forever unchanged 

I love you!

Fruit-orange

Fruit-orange is a grapefruit dontcha know? 

To a 5 year old anyway. 

"Where were you last night?" 

"I went to a party. Came home late, you were already in bed.

We had food...and lots of people.

"Oh."

"Then I got bored. 

And came home."

"Why?"

"I didn't know anybody."

"You shoulda asked them to be your friend." 

"Heh, I guess I coulda done that, huh?" 

A day off unexpeted is a nice thing. 

Unless of course you are pretty behind at work...then it's just annoying. 

No, I'm not a work-aholic, I just need to pick up my pace for the next six months. 

There's a nice view of the water here.

little table and chairs by the window. 

There's a lot of little circle marks all over the window. 

Nerf darts most likely. Gotta love it. 

He likes his New Year hat. 

"Some people wear it like this....*tilts hat back* and some people wear it like this *tilts hat to side* but I like to wear it like this *tilts hat to front*. You know...like that animal with a big pointy thing that can stick in wood...you know!"

"A woodpecker?"

"Yeah! It can stick in wood....No! Like....uh..."

"Oh! A rhinoceros."

"Yeah!" 

So I need to go clean my room, check my money, do my laundry, go for a jog (yeah right! It's frigid. Though I should go.), find something to wear, design a postcard on my time off, pack, string my guitar, do my nails, burn a few cd's, draw a few things, and breathe. 

It's most entertaining

yells and chest bumps

high fives

runs outside

shouts of joy

like a bunch of maniacs

welcome New Year

I don't mind

smiles and laughter

welcome 

Happy New Year all!