Thursday, October 16, 2008

Where will you be?

Some say they have dreams
sometimes I have thoughts 
you know...
dreams when I'm awake

real as anything 
conviction and fear rising up in me

I want to shout "CHOOSE LIFE!! CHOOSE LIFE!!!" 
every time I think about it
when I think of the little eyes 
the tiny hands 

an incredible urge to jump up and shout

have we no regard for truth? 
have we been that blinded?
who do we follow now who tells us these lies?
and are we content to live in a way that says 

maybe we like being in charge of our own lives 
I remember wanting to be in charge of my life
I remember wanting to control

I have found that this life is not worth living for me 
I see something more
something so unbelievable and beautiful 
I can hardly tell you 

so sometimes I keep silent  
I watch and wait
for God to do a great work

He has done it in my heart
He will do it again
there is nothing I can do to lose His grace in my life 

I may be silent now 
but one of these days
I feel I may be in the middle of a crowd 
and conviction will rise up in me 
and I will shout 

where will you be? 

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

I'm obviously an idiot for being nice. 
Naive, they call me. 
Ditz, must be what they see.   

But one of these days 
they might see the reason I'll befriend for a time
yes, my motives often aren't right (I am redeemed, saved, not perfect)
but often I just want you to be happy
I want you to see the truth 

I look at your eyes and want to cry 
for I see a beautiful life, but such a wretched heart 
I love you
to say it would be improper but it's the truth 
I know not how to tell without scaring away

I often come upon one who seems especially lost in this world 
yet I cannot find a way to say I care
I wish for them, pray for them to know

I do cry inside 
and sometimes my tears decide to slip away 
it's not for me really, it's for you 
it's for what you don't know, the life I wish that I could give you

it's your choice though 
I cannot choose for you 

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Ah Neverland...

I often wonder about myself 
wonder if I'm too serious
if I've grown up too fast 

most of the time I would say not fast enough
I am quite the silly girl 
though other times all I can see is my seriousness 

I might as well be little Peter 
pondering grown-up life and living with a burden 
a weight that is not his to carry 

smile a little Peter and be a boy again
why do you feel the need to fix every problem?
don't you know you can't? 

relax Peter 
tomorrow will bring what tomorrow brings 
don't you know you're losing your sweetness

your innocence and any joy from this life
driven away by worry 
driven away by the problems you so wish to fix 

ah, this world holds us for but a little while 
run and play while you can 
Peter, laugh and dance 

the ticking clock continues 
once, just once more
be a boy again 

oh lovely Saturday

I went for a jog while listening to Marvin and Al (thanks to you know who) 
and I'm working on keeping my shoulders from touching my ears 

Little Tavon went home today 
I'm annoyed with myself because he's been here for a week and I haven't seen him much
I come home from work and he goes to bed

On another note...
Gianni was standing on a stool in the kitchen talking about roller coasters 
and then said
"how long does it take to get to a roller coaster show?"

He he...
You can tell he hasn't been to an amusement park before

On another note...
my car died on me twice yesterday
I'm going to attempt to not get ripped off at the mechanics now 
toodles peeps