Happy Place

In time, keeping time
Make it so I don't think
Wait for a signal, follow, repeat
Throw in a surprise
The challenge of not thinking
Not anticipating the next step
Mind unengaged, distant, calm
Heart numb and careless
A step, a spin, a tailored move
The charm of leaving behind
If only for awhile

A shade painted untrue

Eh.
There ya' are
Few and far between
Only there when you wanna be
Or not, maybe it's me
Maybe my hesitant heart
Maybe the part that's pain
And that past paints you
It paints a shade of distrust
The shade that makes me run
I'm sorry for that
The selfish is me

Ps. 62

"Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us."

Conversation

"But what if he's not my best friend?"

"Then I won't send him."

The heart of fall leaves

Uncertain and faltering
Carried by breeze
Against a gray, chilled sky
Twisted and taken by things all around
Shifting from heights low and then high
Carried to places unknown
Lands on a rooftop wishing for peace
Taken afar with a brush of change
Destiny driven
Chase of The Presence
Sets for but moments
Settled for time

The 55 of Psalm

"And I say, "Oh, that I had wings like a dove! I would fly away and be at rest;

yes, I would wander far away; I would lodge in the wilderness;

I would hurry to find a shelter from the raging wind and tempest.

...Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved."

Day of Gray

This place comes and goes

visits unannounced

reckless and abandoning

pulls down below a fog

eyes squint to see the light

ships gnarled on the rocks

they were innocent you know

Thank you for the storm Jesus

Though terrifying and terrible

though wicked and blasting

Your hand is protecting

Your eyes, they are watching

keeping, assuring

Your heart is alive

to the movement in mine

my loving one

mighty and true

Your words are in pain

the sweetest touch

To be called Royalty.

To see oneself as deserving

Utterly wretched

Yet, as wretched- forgotten

Precious

Worth something, anything

More than deserving

Born into a position of reverence

Given a rich destiny

Called Beloved

To wear glory as if it belonged to you

Above filth, above mocking

For a sinking heart and lowered eyes

To be raised up?

Invited to dance?

Requested to sit before The King?

Royalty!?

A breath does not come

Vein's pulsing with emotion

Drained in gratefulness

To be Royalty.

Separated.

An email at work

Separated spreadsheets

Puts into a trance

Separated. Alienated.

One whole but two parts

A thousand miles away

No, millions

No, galaxies.

So far, a heart so gone

Torn, ripped

Confused. Sorely confused.

Running. No, racing stupid.

Beating in panic.

Hurting in guilt.

Far from together.

Far from secure.

Alone.

Dear God.

For your sake, you see?

Chase.

For faithfulness.

Love.

Office Politics

Can anybody tell me why directly following, I have this need to eat?

And stuff my face I do well, even on a full stomach.

Yes, I’ve had a grapefruit and three cheese sticks,

but a poptart may motivate me to roll in your dough

even if it’s the cheap kind that aids my double chin growth.

Not enough, you say? Cheese stick #4.

Slow, you say? Pop tart feast.

And thanks, by the way

for slight undertones of a compliment.

Ode to the flat duck:

Post to Appease my Friend Eric

ducky dear
it is quite clear
that you are flat
and far from fat
I'm sorry that deeps
he made you peep
when running over
with his chair
please forgive
the unfortunate error

Beautiful He Says

It’s nice to know people think that
I suppose
I’ll take it as a compliment
Though I’m not sure I care
It frustrates me
The surface level attention
The meaningless compliments
I know you’ll mean it by your intentions
When you find me
And say that I’m beautiful
I’ll know you’re not lying
Your sincere smile
I’ll believe

Isaiah

"...I have spoken, and I will bring it to pass; I have purposed, and I will do it."
Is. 46


Surety
Strength
A set plan
He has decided
No discussion
No doubt
Solid intentions
Definite action

Give me faith, faith that is as solid as your purposes. Trust.
Trust in your perfect intentions.

Monday's Inspiration

If I could grab a little piece of everything I love about the arts and what I'd want to do with them, it'd be very close to this:

http://vimeo.com/14803194

Dissecting Thoughts

The danger in losing control
The fear that something or someone would have you so bound
So tangled and convinced that it was right when it was wrong
And then realizing the wrong, or left alone and surprised
Whether it’s good or not, it’s safe in a way
Ignoring hope
Standing at arms length incase closer would steal control
Perhaps it wouldn’t
But if it did, the strong would be gone
The dancer alone
Spinning that grew faster would have no steady hand
Nothing to stop at, no hint at direction
Which would be fine if there were surety
Constancy in being free
The thought of maintaining control
To keep from depending on what might not be there
The safety in distance

Wishful Thinking

Today, I wanted to be a squirrel
Sitting in a chair listening to a guy go on about stuff that doesn't matter in the end
This huge window provided the perfect entrance into another world
Tree trunks were glowing on the right side with a light touch of sunshine
The shadows were light and gray
Just like the squirrel that jumped from tree to tree
Only he was jumping at the bottom
Hanging on to the trunks and hiding in the shadows
I thought it must be awfully fun to do that and imagined that feeling of leaping
When your foot catches the stone just right
Thrilling really

A European Gallivant

It's a bit cold in the office today and I'll admit that I am, as usual, unprepared for blizzard conditions, especially indoors.
Somehow I find myself pondering my third major gallivant leading me to those Northern countries around Sweden where I assume you'd find wonderous clothing items of fur and leather.

I imagined myself in at least a foot of snow, poorly dressed with boots that didn't insulate well and trudging up this little hill on the side of a mountain as the snow was whipping all around and then reaching this little pub-cabin place at the top and stumbling in the door with half-frozen toes and the burly men sitting at the bar would turn around with their beer and beards and just stare like “who let THAT chick up this mountain!?” and then I’d sit down at the bar and thaw out.
Upon leaving whichever country my imagination found myself in, I would send a gift back to the nice family who took me in and provided warm, wooly clothing to the poorly dressed English speaking American girl.

And then the thought vanished.