Sunday, November 16, 2008

I really haven't the heart to write. 
Maybe lack of sleep
Maybe my own heart 

sometimes I get so tired
just tired of dealing with this life 
tired of opening my mouth when I shouldn't
tired of the mean in me 
sick of the nasty 

though I did ask for a change of heart 
I asked for the Lord to show me where my faults are
I said I wanted to be more like Him 

I sometimes underestimate the power of my prayers 
He is faithful
the Lord never said that following Him would be easy 
In fact, he warned it'd be uncomfortable 

In some ways I've never been opposed to discomfort
in other ways I can only instinctively run 

I can't help but compare myself to the rich young man 
who seeks eternal life 
his heart seeks something greater than this life   

the man somehow thinks that good deeds will save 
and so often my heart reacts the same 
somehow I find myself disappointed 
for my deeds are imperfect, my heart so wrong 

the point is crystal, Jesus' words hit the heart 
after declaring that he(the man) has followed the law from his youth
Jesus presents a truth that the man is not prepared for 

"If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, 
and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me." 
Go. Sell. Come. Follow me.  

Do you see the heart of this statement? I am to let go of what I hold here. 
I must not live my life for this place
The reward of not clinging to my earthly possessions is an unearthly treasure 
the reward of following, is more than I know 

in essence the rich young man turns and runs toward his earthly treasure
unable to give up the god his heart clings to
(for it is what you live for that is your god) 

The comparison following the mans running is stark 
" is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle 
than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God." 

So if this man who appeared "good" in the eyes of the world 
could not enter God's kingdom, who can!? 

And what hope do I have when I know my deeds and heart 
have more wrong than right motives? 
I have less hope than a camel trying to fit through the eye of a needle! 

Ah! But yes, if my hope were in me this would sad. 
Yet Jesus has mercy. He had mercy on the rich young man.
He doesn't leave me wandering and without hope 
"With man this is impossible,..." there is nothing I can do to be "good" on my own
"...but with God all things are possible."  He has not abandoned those without hope! 

For He is our hope.
He is my hope. 
What I cannot accomplish in my own heart and life on my own 
He has promised to complete 

"And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you 
will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." 
I am confident that He can take this life of mine
no matter how meaningless in my eyes
no matter how horrible I can be 

and complete a good work 
complete a life that will bring Him glory 
one that will reflect His love and His heart 

(Matthew 19:16-30)
(Philippians 1:6) 

No comments: