Friday, August 1, 2008

I've found that there are few things that keep people entertained nowadays.
Due to the inspiration of a very dear friend (SC/big red/wendy), I have become even more easily entertained than before.

For example-
"Mt. Trashmore"-I would never have thought about it. Previously I would have read the name, cocked my head, and then gone on with life. But now (after reading the sign for maybe the 5th time), I cocked my head and thought deeply. Then I laughed. What a ridiculous name for a park. It just cracks me up every time. 
There is a skeleton that sits in the passenger side of the little beetle bug car in a neighbors driveway. He is always there. Sometimes I think he wears a hat with the window down. The little bug car is a rusted black with rusty black wheels and a hint of rusty red near where the hub caps should be. The skeleton seems to have a cocky grin on his face at all times. He's a steady guy. We've named him Rusty. 
Every day when I walk into the bathroom at work, I glance at the door with a sign that says "showers" on it. I wonder why in the crab pot we would have a room marked "showers" in our sophisticated office building. I often have entertained myself with scenarios detailing why a person may need to use a room marked "showers". I never peeped in the door because I thought it added to the mystery if I didn't exactly know what was in the shower room. I was disappointed the other day when my supervisor told me that there was a work-out room we could use in an office close to ours. Killed the mysterious. ('ll be good for my exercise habits or lack thereof.)  

I like my supervisor. I couldn't have asked for a better supervisor to warm me up to the place and pester with questions. She really is a very sweet, nice person. You know what? She has a sparkle to her eyes.

I think that I've always been one to enjoy watching others. I like to watch conversations between people. It is entertaining to me to listen and watch. Have you ever just watched a conversation take place? Sometimes someone is very serious, or extremely giddy, or maybe just content and worry-free. I like most of all to see a sparkle in the eyes. 
It really happens, you know? I have seen it. 

I often wonder if it is my fascination with watching the interaction of others or just a laziness and self-focus that makes me want to watch the conversation instead of participate. It may be a bit of both. 
Perhaps I will learn to be less self-focused and more sociable when I grow up.  

You know, sometimes it is just too tiring to be sociable. One can only have so many friends. I used to wish that I could disconnect myself from every single person I knew (outside of my immediate family) and leave. Leave the country, seriously. I wasn't even joking with myself, it was how I truly felt. It wasn't that I wanted to run away from home, but that I was too exhausted of situations with people that I felt I could not handle much longer. 
In the end, the Lord taught me through each situation. I can even say now that I am grateful for them. Even today though, I often feel the need to disconnect and start new occasionally. 

Speaking of starting new, I don't know that I could ask for a better "new start" than to move across the state and start a new job, attend a new church and know absolutely no one and nothing. Though when I finally get my wish years down the road, I don't want it so much anymore (fancy that). There are people that I cannot disconnect myself from. I would never do it. 
I will say though, that if I were forced to leave and never return (you know like the witness protection program stuff that happens in books-and never real life, right?) I would be unfathomably sad but sigh with relief just a bit. 
Don't you ever just want a new beginning? To forget about before and start with a new record. A white page. 

Thanks to the Lord, for He is the only way. He is the only new beginning any of us will ever get. I want to remember that, daily. I am learning to remember His goodness towards me. I am learning to remember that He holds nothing against me. There is nothing I must do to please Him! I have a new beginning in Christ. 

This is far too long. And I'd like to end on a good note as well. What a good thought to end on. 

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