Where will you be?

Some say they have dreams

sometimes I have thoughts 

you know...

dreams when I'm awake

real as anything 

conviction and fear rising up in me

I want to shout "CHOOSE LIFE!! CHOOSE LIFE!!!" 

every time I think about it

when I think of the little eyes 

the tiny hands 

an incredible urge to jump up and shout

CHOOSE LIFE!! 

justice 

truth

have we no regard for truth? 

have we been that blinded?

who do we follow now who tells us these lies?

and are we content to live in a way that says 

WE ARE GOD 

maybe we like being in charge of our own lives 

I remember wanting to be in charge of my life

I remember wanting to control

I have found that this life is not worth living for me 

I see something more

something so unbelievable and beautiful 

I can hardly tell you 

so sometimes I keep silent  

I watch and wait

for God to do a great work

He has done it in my heart

He will do it again

there is nothing I can do to lose His grace in my life 

I may be silent now 

but one of these days

I feel I may be in the middle of a crowd 

and conviction will rise up in me 

and I will shout 

where will you be? 

 

I'm obviously an idiot for being nice. 

Naive, they call me. 

Ditz, must be what they see.   

But one of these days 

they might see the reason I'll befriend for a time

yes, my motives often aren't right (I am redeemed, saved, not perfect)

but often I just want you to be happy

I want you to see the truth 

I look at your eyes and want to cry 

for I see a beautiful life, but such a wretched heart 

I love you

to say it would be improper but it's the truth 

I know not how to tell without scaring away

I often come upon one who seems especially lost in this world 

yet I cannot find a way to say I care

I wish for them, pray for them to know

I do cry inside 

and sometimes my tears decide to slip away 

it's not for me really, it's for you 

it's for what you don't know, the life I wish that I could give you

it's your choice though 

I cannot choose for you 

Ah Neverland...

I often wonder about myself 

wonder if I'm too serious

if I've grown up too fast 

most of the time I would say not fast enough

I am quite the silly girl 

though other times all I can see is my seriousness 

I might as well be little Peter 

pondering grown-up life and living with a burden 

a weight that is not his to carry 

smile a little Peter and be a boy again

why do you feel the need to fix every problem?

don't you know you can't? 

relax Peter 

tomorrow will bring what tomorrow brings 

don't you know you're losing your sweetness

your innocence and any joy from this life

driven away by worry 

driven away by the problems you so wish to fix 

ah, this world holds us for but a little while 

run and play while you can 

Peter, laugh and dance 

the ticking clock continues 

once, just once more

be a boy again 

Saturday

oh lovely Saturday

I went for a jog while listening to Marvin and Al (thanks to you know who) 

and I'm working on keeping my shoulders from touching my ears 

Little Tavon went home today 

I'm annoyed with myself because he's been here for a week and I haven't seen him much

I come home from work and he goes to bed

On another note...

Gianni was standing on a stool in the kitchen talking about roller coasters 

and then said

"how long does it take to get to a roller coaster show?"

He he...

You can tell he hasn't been to an amusement park before

On another note...

my car died on me twice yesterday

I'm going to attempt to not get ripped off at the mechanics now 

toodles peeps